To My Love

To My Love,

I have been a very negligent blogger the past few months. It is ironic since this semester has been the most eventful one yet.  I am ENGAGED?! First things first, I am not your typical girl and I have not had your the typical "engagement" experiences.  I have felt at times as if I have been under the flames of God and He is molding me and shaping me into the woman He wants me to be. I have grown more in these last few months than any other time in my life.  I have learned of revelation, love, healing, family, salvation, priorities, and much, much more. These last months have contained the hardest yet the sweetest moments I have yet experienced.  I will refrain from going into detail because these last few months I hold to be sacred and very personal. I will however attest that Satan is as real as the noon-day sun. I have felt his power in ways I wish to never experience again. God's power is above all, however, and His love has carried me through. Needless to say, there is some evil force out there that is destined to cease any and all progression I have with this man that I have come to so cherish and love.  We have grown together in ways this little blog post will never adequately articulate. 

I am in love with Carson Garrett. (I can barely type his name without tearing up.) Carson Garrett is perfect. He is perfect to me. I have known him for SIX years. It all started in a math class. We had almost every single math class together in high school and we were randomly assigned to sit next to each other in every single one. Of all times and seats at the 5A Davis High School...Coincidence?  We became inseparable since. 

When I was 16 years old, Carson was my first kiss. We were best friends for a year before we even had our first kiss...might I add, he was very patient with me as I was as nervous as could be to kiss a boy. ha.  We flirted in the halls of Davis High School. We spent many summer nights laughing in his little red pick-up truck. We danced like wild-bangies at high school dances. He has traveled across states many times to surprise me in various sporting competitions. He is my #1 fan. He has always been my #1 fan!!! We got lost together on nearly every hike we went on (Elephant Rock). We experienced those feelings of long separation (mission) and the heartache that comes with the possibility of losing all that we had worked so hard to gain. We experienced life together while we were apart.  Most of all, we discovered what it was like to love. Carson has showed me how to love. He is part of my soul.

Since he has returned from Poland, we have fought for a love that should have ended many times. We have conquered battles that I wish on no one. Carson has loved my selflessly as I have battled with other things. We have been through hell and back. God has certainly been prevalent. He knew I needed those experiences to grow. Because of those experiences, I love this man more than my own life. We have proven that we can do hard things. We are engaged to be married; it still does not seem real to me. We are certainly different people than we were when we were 16 years old. It is so fun to see our progress. We were so young, naive, and so incredibly blissful and yet some things haven't changed much. I do not know what the future has in store but I cannot wait to experience the rest of my life with him. I count it as one of my greatest blessings.

I am so far from perfect and have made so many mistakes. But it was the moment when I realized I would really lose him forever, that I realized, I want him to be my forever. 

Carson, I will love you forever.

A Historic Weekend

I am in Philadelphia!

Due to some personal circumstances, I accompanied my grandma and my mom on a business trip to a large trade show in Philadelphia.  My parents were worried about me and suggested I go. I, gratefully, accepted and headed to the airport. It was rather spontaneous but very much needed.

  

First Day: I was in heaven! I love, LOVE history. Philadelphia is deeply rooted in our nation's foundational history. During the American Revolution, Philadelphia was the center meeting place for the Founding Fathers of the United States. Philadelphia was once one of the nation's capitals during the Revolutionary War and it served as a temporary U.S. capital while D.C. was under construction. 

I am in the right place for history. 

Independence Hall

While they set up for the show, I explored the city.       *It was so liberating to explore Philadelphia. 
                      The Liberty Bell.

I loved the quotations at the exhibits!

When I teach, this will be one classroom motto: 

"Go back to the past to build the future."

This is the EXACT ROOM where the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE (1776) and THE CONSTITUTION (1787) were signed.  Can you believe it? I am here! 

I know God was "in" this room as He guided the Founding Fathers. #bigdeal

Congress Hall: 

 House of Representatives (top)

  Senate (below)

Carpenter's Hall:

Hosted the First Continental Congress in 1774

(Just for you Troy) 

****

On Saturday night, in the hotel, the trip suddenly changed.  Warnings and Alerts dominated the news...Hurricane Sandy would be visiting us shortly. 

The show was suddenly cut short. Everything was closing. 

We rebooked our flights five different times. 

One-by-one all of them were canceling. 

Everyone started scrambling. 

People were evacuating.

On Sunday night, we somehow landed tickets for one of the last flights to leave Philadelphia. We abruptly left the show, sprinted to the hotel, threw everything into our suit-cases, and booked it to the hotel. (I sat on the dashboard in the taxi bc there was no room.) When we arrived to the stress-filled airport, we stood in line to get our bags checked...and missed our flight.  The airport was disastrous. I looked outside and the storm was rolling in, dark rain clouds blanketed the sky. 

I felt like I was in a movie.

The airport is officially closed. All planes flew out. In fact, the staff resides in the same hotel we are staying in. Roads, trains, and subways are closed.

We are officially stuck in Philadelphia.

Over 20,000 flights have been cancelled. 

The eye of the storm is heading for us tonight! 

Monday. Everything is closed. We went and bought water, food, and warm clothes for the next few days. Who knows how long we will be here. 

Call us crazy but my mom wanted me to go with her and look at the historical sites, despite them all being closed. It was terribly windy, rainy, and freezing but this is the only time we had before Sandy will bombard Philadelphia. 

One security guard yelled to us: 

"Don't you realize there is a hurricane coming? 
Get inside!" 

He saw our dedication and ended up giving us our own personal tour of Independence Hall. Bonus.

The city is barren.  

Email my mom wrote: "Rachel and I wandered around the city before-hand weather got too bad.  We stumbled upon a statue near Penns Landing.  It is life size, built as a remembrance to Irish immigrants.  I LOVE the addition of rain drops.  It seems to add additional emotion to the faces.  The memorial depicts the cruel starvation which claimed one million Irish lives between 1845 to 1850; the harrowing journey to America taken by a million more; and the indomitable spirit of those who arrived safely and resolved to face the challenges of life in a new world."

 

****

*The weather is too retched to leave now. We are all forced to stay indoors. 

*The winds are up to 80-100mph.

*We are faithfully following the news.

(There is nothing else to watch even if we wanted to.)

*It makes me sick seeing what others have experienced already. Please pray for those affected.

Warning: (1 in 5 Americans will somehow be affected by this hurricane.) #unbelievable

*Hurricane Sandy is destroying everything in her path.

*Don't worry, our room is loaded with chocolate and water. (seriously, we have food.) 

*We are safe.

*We moved from the 22nd floor to the 10th floor for safety precautions. (Advantage: We are pros at packing up our belongings for the various warnings we have received to move for one reason or another.)

 At first, I was overwhelmed and I just wanted to go home: a. I have never been in a hurricane before b. My life is running out of control here and @ home and I cannot do much about it. In fact, I do not know when I will be home. I run such a fast-paced life, it feels foreign to slow the pace down, with force of course. However, my grandma and mom have been rather hilarious in keeping my spirits up. It is scary and stressful but they have been nothing but angels through all of this. 

*Lessons Learned: I do not have control over the situation but I do have control over my feelings and responses to it and the things that matter most really become apparent at times like these. 

**Cherish your loved ones, life is very unpredictable.

*Keep everyone in your prayers, Sandy has turned inland.

****We will be hit at 7 or 8 tonight. To be continued...